WEF Secretly Changes Course

Davos event inadvertently utilizes new therapy that results in an unexpected shift in the WEF agenda

The NWO has been reduced to a puddle of cuddles after one of Bill Gates’ attending girlfriends “accidentally” dropped a pillowcase worth of Shulgin-quality MDMA in the Chateau Margaux 1787 sangria bowl. Everything was all technocrat megalomania as usual until the ecstasy kicked in during Klaus Schwab’s address.

Suddenly, the notorious promoter of insect cuisine took a quantum leap into the hug-it-out-o-sphere. Yuval Noah Harari said that “one minute Klausy was waxing Fourth Reich-like and the next his eyes started bugging out, he was visibly clenching his jaw, and then he started dropping rave lingo. We are all there expecting to hear the usual about merging with the digital, public-private partnerships, own nothing be happy kind of stuff”, Harari remarked with a twinkle in his eye, “and then mein Schwab starts rolling with quantum comchochung!”

Harari continued, “The last time I heard him say comchochung we were in Ibiza and it was four in the morning! This time was different though. It was quantum comchochung and then he dropped the mic, did the Running Man, and left the stage on a hug it out mission.”

It wasn’t too much longer until Harari and just about everyone else started rolling. Some CEOs and world leaders were visibly awkward as Klaus unbuttoned most of his shirt and veered towards them for hugs.

Luckily, one of the masked wait staff had DJ experience and knew what to do. Armin van Buuren quickly ditched the mask and tray as he headed directly to the audio-visual booth. van Buuren enlisted a bartender to rev up the light system and before you could say eat ze bugz, the Davos crowd was raving to trance beats and a light show fit for a new world orgiastic delight.

The Schwabster went from saying “eat ze bugz” to “needz some hugz”, which caught on as the tempo of the beats increased. Soon, the entire main hall was shuffling and chanting “needz some hugz, need some hugz”.

When van Buurin went heavy, that was it. CEO, prime ministers, and central bankers were discarding their shirts, pumping their fists, and hugging it out en masse.

The beat kept the elite going all night. It wasn’t hard to hear an exchange between two ruthless billionaires about how they were going to spend the rest of their days “sharing the love”.

Speaking of billionaires, while all this was going on Elon Musk utilized his fully operational Starlink to hack into the main screen in the Davos general assembly meeting hall. He then spliced images of Donald Trump’s meanest tweets with video of hunter-gatherer tribes joyously performing ceremonial dances barefoot and barely clothed.

This was too much for the attendees, as the juxtaposition of Trumpian uncouthness and ancestral embodied bliss drove the trance beats and the empathogenic Molly molecules deep into amygdala. Primitive emotions stirred uncontrollably and before any coldhearted tycoon or corrupt politico could ground themselves back into their previous state of tyrannical domination, their neurochemistry spontaneously and permanently shifted.

“Needz some hugz” chants increased in volume and passion as the entire crowd jumped up and down, waving their hands in the air and smiling ear to ear. The rave continued deep into the next morning. In between sets, the elites broke out their phones and began mass transfers of cash to various grassroots organizations.

Justin Trudeau, who had been grinding with Klausy and was now only in a Borat G-string, decided to send a puppy to everyone who attended the Freedom Convoy rally in Ottawa in early 2022. While his deputy PM, Chrystia Freeland, sobbed next to him the whole time. It was hard to tell if she was emotional over the Schwab-Trudeau tryst or she was purging her inner demons. It was probably a bit of both.

Perhaps most amazingly was POTUS Biden’s transformation. He suddenly was speaking clearly and coherently. He moved with grace and he had a lucid look in his eyes. Kamala Harris did not seem taken aback with this as she just continued to cackle incessantly the entire night - which is obviously quite normal behavior for her. This left many wondering if she had been on E her entire vice presidency thus far.

When the event finally came to an end, the exhausted but after-glowing bigwigs dragged themselves to the HUMV limos awaiting them, were driven to the helipad and choppered to their private jets. As the planes left the area, one could feel the magic still hovering in the air. It was as if the Eleusinian Mysteries had been rekindled.

The world had changed. The bugz were left behind and hugz were in the forecast.