Is Trust Going Extinct?
Last week I wrote about freedom, which sits mostly in the public domain. This week, I have chosen to get more personal. It is time to audit ‘trust’. Trust seems to be more relationally personal than freedom as it often happens between two people whereas freedom is often a function of societal structures. That being said, trust has different operational levels.
Certainly, there is a notion of trust within a relationship between two people. Still, trust exists in other relationships as well. As far as I can think of right now, trust has three spheres of existence.
Trust between two individuals (e.g., a husband and wife, two friends, coworkers, etc.).
Trust between an individual and groups or communities, (e.g., an individual and the group of people in their municipality, town, school, organization, etc.).
Trust between an individual and institutions and structures of authority, (e.g., an individual and the government, media, professional associations of experts, etc.).
Maybe there are others and maybe these division are either more or less than I have made them to be. I don’t think that is of significant concern in this article. What I am aiming for is the survivability of trust in the different spheres of our lives.
I would say we have just gone through a seismic disruption of trust. I am surprised and, frankly, disappointed by anyone who still maintains the same level of trust towards certain sources of information after the unravellings of the last three years. Don’t get me wrong. I think it is wonderful if you can hold onto your faith in humanity, keep an open heart and compassion. However, I feel that if you want to survive and protect your loved ones and what is dear to you, you have likely taken on at least a bit of skepticism towards certain agents.
So, how can we trust again?
Simply put, this question brings up the old adage of how hard it is to gain trust and how easy it is to lose it.
At level one - the personal one to one relationship - is an accelerated arena when it comes to building or destroying trust. When those you know well betray you, the devastation is unparalleled. Repairing this is a major uphill climb. However, the touch points are potentially quite numerous and thus, trust can be rebuilt with repeated acts of solidarity and honor.
At level two - the group dynamic - the hurt might not have been as shocking but the loss of trust in one’s community is still significantly destabilizing. Regaining this trust is harder due to the dispersion of interactions, the multiplicity of actors, and the vagueness of the entity that is our community. It is likely after a betrayal of sorts that we will regain some trust because it is vital to our continued functioning but it is also reasonable that we are more jaded in our general future dealings with our communities. For some of us, this time has been a catalyst to build new communities and recognize the importance of fostering connection with people who are truly aligned with our deepest values.
At level three - the authorities in our life - the recognition of the agents that are charged with our well-being and celebrated as experts actually being an impediment to our survival and health is sufficient to create seemingly unrepairable rifts. In my mind, this might be a good thing. Perhaps the ‘man behind the curtain’ has been exposed. The jig is up. The notion of a benevolent government that serves us is a hard sell for anyone with a modicum of real awareness at this point. I believe many new skeptics have been born. In the words of The Who, “Won’t get fooled again”.
We'll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgment of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song
I'll tip my hat to the new Constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
Change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the fold, that's all
And the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war
I'll tip my hat to the new Constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
No, no
I'll move myself and my family aside
If we happen to be left half-alive
I'll get all my papers and smile at the sky
For I know that the hypnotized never lie
Do you?
Yeah
There's nothing in the street
Looks any different to me
And the slogans are effaced, by-the-bye
And the parting on the left
Is now the parting on the right
And the beards have all grown longer overnight
I'll tip my hat to the new Constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again
No, no
Yeah
Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss
The thing is trust is both a gift and a curse. We need to trust some people and things but we are in great jeopardy if we throw our trust to the predators that are on the look out for our weaknesses and points of manipulation.
If we do not trust our government, can our societal structures survive?
Perhaps not… and maybe this is the greatest blessing of this time. While there are certainly aspects of our civilization and culture I think are advantageous and worthy, I still hold the belief that there are parts that both suppress the individual and hold back our species. We need a great reset but not a Great Reset. We need a Great Awakening that comes with a tectonic shift of culture and human interaction.
We need to trust our instincts and not the experts. We need to follow our conscience and not The Science (TM).
So, where does this leave us?
Are we done with trust? Can we only trust our inner circle? Maybe.
How do we navigate the rest of the world?
I have written about the challenges of the warrior here and here. This is another one.
I think we must trust beyond our inner circle. However, that trust can be guarded. It can be handed out in rations. We can be cognizant and measured in its dispersion and in its depth.
This is the way forward for me.
I will be willing to build new bridges and have faith in people and even institutions but they will get a drip feed of my heart and mind. They will have to earn the depth of my allegiance. They will have to do so over a long period of time and through unstable conditions. They will be tested and they will need to be spectacular to get all of me.
I would like to leave you with a light of hope. When trust is earned by those you have interacted with time and time again, then you have the foundation for a relationship that can withstand the apocalypse and be instrumental in your survival and the creation of a new community based on true connection.
I hope for all of us that we can foster these types of relationships and that through them we can build a better world.
I have more to say about repairing trust and knowing when it is unrepairable and to what degree, but I’ll save that for another time… if you’d like to hear it.