“If you're not busy being born, you're busy dying.”
―Bob Dylan
It seems Western society has an unhealthy relationship with death. I don’t know how long its been that way but there are signs of this disorder everywhere.
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Often, we try so hard to avoid death, even thinking and talking about it, that we pass on living in order to do so. Reports are fairly common from those close to death that they are more aware of the value of their life than they ever were previously. Those who’ve had near death experiences often share that’s when they’ve felt the most alive.
It seems that this might have to do with being immersed in the present moment. On the contrary, by avoiding a relationship with death in an every day kind of way, we tend to fool ourselves into thinking our time is unlimited. It is exactly because our time is limited that life is so precious and special. When we are aware of this reality, we tend to live life to the fullest.
Our modern world has provided a wealth of ways to keep us alive and safe. Unfortunately, the safety that protects us can also be that which pushes us away from living like it really matters.
Safety is all the rage these days. Coffee cups are labeled with warnings that the contents are hot. Lawnmowers caution not to touch the moving blade. There are many examples of these notices of danger that are glaringly obvious and are easily grasped with merely a modicum of the common sense found in a kindergarten child. Yet, someone is pasting these self-evident facts on objects as if they are revelatory. Having some safety awareness is a good idea to reduce the risk of injury and early mortality; however, having it in the forefront of everything we do makes some of us shy away from true active living.
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100% of people who are born die. We can never know exactly when our time will come, unless you are connected to some otherworldly, high-performing psychic astrologer, tarot card reading mystic that just nails it every time. If you are, send me their number. Actually, on second thought, don’t.
Do we even really want to know the exact date of our death?
Our time will come, and regardless of how well we live , it cannot be avoided. That’s not to say we shouldn’t live striving to be health conscious. Even if our lifespan is just as long as someone who is not healthy, it is more likely that because of our healthy choices, we live with more vitality, less suffering, and more capability of enjoying our time.
Death is not the enemy. Human death is normal; we all die. The real enemies are premature death, disability, pain, human suffering, and the prolongation of dying. All the rest is mostly noise.
—George Lundberg
If you ask me, that’s the key - enjoying life because it has an expiration date. With this in mind, even though I am an ardent proponent for healthy living, I still believe that sometimes it’s perfectly okay - and even really good - to do something that gives you joy and fun that might not be so healthy.
Some of us might not make it to old age no matter how well we live. There are a variety of causes of early mortality. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines premature death as death at ages younger than 70 years. I have family members that met that fate.
So, what common diseases, afflictions, or agents kill Americans prematurely, from the youngest to the oldest, and what is the median age of premature death from each?
Gunshot wounds: median age at death, 28 years
Fentanyl: 35 years
Vehicular crashes: 40 years
Overdose not otherwise specified (NOS): 46 years
Alcoholism: 57 years
Tobacco addiction: 66 years
Cirrhosis: 67 years
Diabetes: 67 years
Chronic kidney disease: 68 years
Lung cancer: 71 years
Cancer NOS: 73 years
Stroke: 73 years
Myocardial infarction: 73 years
Sometimes life can throw some cruel curveballs at us. In light of this, it seems a reasonable approach would be to live with mostly healthy choices while still make allowances for some joy and fun which might not be optimal for one’s health. Perhaps an 80:20 split is a solid bet. Of course, this might depend on individual circumstances. Some people need to live incredibly cleanly in order to heal, reduce pain and mitigate suffering from whatever underlying ailments they may have. I tip my hat to these folks and have great respect for their discipline. I have seen many others who have similar ailments but aren’t compelled to incorporate the discipline and sacrifices to reduce their suffering.
I think the bottom line might be, that when the end comes, we don’t want to have major regrets. If we spend most of our days, covering ourselves in bubble wrap, donning helmets, wiping down all surfaces, strapped into a seatbelt in our living room la-Z-Boy while we watch seasons and seasons of some safe sitcom, night in and night out, we might live a few extra years - we might not - but we will have missed the point of being alive in the first place. That’s my opinion at least.
This is even more ludicrous when other people demand that you comply with their safety protocols so they can feel safe. Some people will never feel safe, regardless of what measures are put into place. Their irrational fear lashes out like some multi-headed hydra, attacking others for merely striving to live a little more carefree.
If we have the means to reduce our own risks, then we can choose to do so by weighing the measures and sacrifices needed to potentially keep us safer with the likelihood of that hazard. Often this is a very personal process. Ask a free climber - someone who rock climbs with no ropes or safety - if their activity is worth it. I am confident they would confirm that it is. Mandating them to climb with ropes would almost certainly have them feel like they had been robbed of a precious part of their life, perhaps the most precious.
As far as safety on a societal level, there are mechanisms and policies that can be and have been put in place. There are heated debates around these. The whole notion gives rise to bigger questions around political ideologies, ethics, and different philosophical schools of thought. Let’s take a quick look at this.
So, in relation to the common diseases, afflictions, or agents that kill Americans prematurely, what are the agents of hazard that lead to premature death?
For deaths from gunshot wounds: guns and ammunition
For deaths from fentanyl: illicit street fentanyl
For deaths from vehicular crashes: automobiles, motorcycles, bicycles
For deaths from overdose: street and prescribed fentanyl, other opioids, a mixture of other drugs
For deaths from alcohol use disorder: legal alcohol
For deaths from tobacco addiction: legal combustible tobacco
For deaths from cirrhosis, alcohol: hepatitis, excess fattening food
For deaths from diabetes (via obesity): sugar, ultra-processed foods
For deaths from chronic liver disease (via obesity and diabetes): sugar, ultra-processed foods
For deaths from lung and other cancers (often via obesity): legal combustible tobacco, sugar, ultra-processed foods
For deaths from strokes and myocardial infarction (via hypertension, obesity, diabetes): legal combustible tobacco, sugar
One can see that almost all of these mechanisms of premature death are legal and a significant part of our society. Should we ban them all? Imagine that. Certainly some people would be up in arms. As I mentioned, many people would rather indulge in, for example, ultra-processed foods, tobacco, and alcohol, than reduce their early mortality risks. Some might even tell you they would trade years of their life for the pleasure they get out of these indulgences. While these are all unnecessary to living and arguably unnecessary to enjoy life, some don’t feel that way.
Should they be forced?
What is the cost to society of allowing these things?
What benefit do these things offer to the individual and the community?
The answers to these questions are complex and we are unlikely to reach a significant consensus around them. If I focused on automobiles, it is more obvious that their utility might outweigh their harm.
I think the big question is how much of a top-down, state controlled safety approach is appropriate? What is freedom worth? Do the duel objectives of preserving lives and preserving liberty create an unavoidable conflict?
I feel like I need to note that if we expect a government to mandate certain safety protocols, they might be on the hook for being consistent and avoiding contradictory legislation. We also might want to examine what drives certain hazards to be addressed with a heavier hand and others to be all but dismissed. It certainly is an interesting and layered topic.
Sometimes, I wish I lived in the past. Maybe with the Vikings, who embraced death as the most glorious passageway to Valhalla. To die in battle for a Viking was better than life itself. I recognize I’m probably glorifying this. If I’m honest, I truly appreciate the safety that I have but I also don’t think I need to push for so much more. If you can create more safety without adding more stress and more restrictions, so be it. Ironically enough, this is often exactly what happens. More safety has created more angst and anxiety more than once in history and certainly in recent years. Interestingly, those who press hardest for safety seem to be the most anxious and do not have a reduction of anxiety once new protocols are in place.
Having no fear is unrealistic. Being paralyzed by fear is unhealthy and damaging. Facing fear could be one of the most empowering moments in one’s life. One needs to feel fear to be brave and courageous. An action that arises without the presence of fear cannot be defined as brave and/or courageous. Fear is an opportunity for us to become stronger, grow, and inspire.
So, how do we muster the courage to act in the face of fear?
What do you think?
I have many ideas on this subject. They span from the utilization of rational thinking to the suppression of thinking all together. I will share my thought in a subsequent article. This one is focused on death and while the notion of death often comes with fear attached, fear is found away from death too. Some find fear firmly attached to really living.
Death is not the opposite of life. Death is the opposite of birth. They are both a part of life.
Who knows what’s through that ‘Final Door’? The hardcore reductive materialists say it all comes to nothing. They have no more proof than spiritualists who believe in an afterlife or reincarnation. Either way, our trajectory is headed right there. In my opinion, the sooner we establish a healthy relationship with death, the sooner we live a life unplagued by its shadow.
They say the two biggest fears people have are a fear of death and a fear of public speaking. Perhaps public speaking is an easier topic to find solutions for.